Ten inventions every reader needs right now

There’s a quote by the ex NASA astronaut Ron Garan that says: We are limited by our imagination and our will to act.

Taking a cue from there, dear reader friends, my imagination and I went on an invention trip. Each time we got to the exciting parts, the frontal lobe (that’s the practical part of the brain, I think) would step in pointing out (boring) practical impossibilities. The only thing to be done then was to shut him down. And that’s what we did. And that’s exactly how you need to read this post – with your frontal lobe at rest.

Once we took off there was no stopping.

I’m going to go out on a limb and (like they say in the worst kind of clickbaity videos), I’m going to ask you to ‘read till the end’. The best ones are really right at the bottom. Or, of course, you could scroll down but that’s not a readerly thing to do – good readers never flip to the end.

Here goes then:

1. Hands free page-turner

Remember those cold nights when you’ve tucked yourself in bed all warm and toasty and then you’ve to take a hand out to turn the pages? 

Or the time when you have a plate of fries in one hand and the other is all oily from said fries and then you have to turn a page? 

Or when you’re peeling pomegranate and your hands are all bloody and you have to turn the page? Well, that’s when the head-shake-eye-move-page-turner would come to your rescue.

An invention that would enable one to turn pages by moving one’s eyes/head.

2. Book holder

So it’s late at night, you’re reading in bed, the book held up in your hands (I’m thinking a solid hardbound War and Peace or a Les Miserables) and you dose off for one tiny second and the book comes crashing on your pretty face. (Worse still, if it happens on a romantic date: refer picture above).

An invention to hold a book when you read in bed could prevent serious cases of death-from-reading.

3. Waterproof books

Duh! Someone come up with this already! Engrossing books stand in danger of becoming a threat to personal hygiene.

Infants and toddlers already have waterproof books so why can’t we adults? Why can’t I have what my children have? It’s downright ageist, if you ask me.

Someone make waterproof books for adults rightaway, please.

4. Book grabbers

This one is a bit of an aesthetic luxury and very very practical, I have to say. I adore book-shelves that cover entire walls, filling up the space on top of doors and windows. But how does one get down a book from up there? What one needs is a grabber, a long mechanical arm, like a selfie-stick. I cannot believe that people have made silly things like selfie-sticks but not useful ones like book-grabbing sticks. It’s an unfair world out there.

An invention to get down books from tall cupboards.

Note: My being the shortest in my family and needing one of the twins or their dad to get down books has nothing to do with this.

5. Self-sorting bookshelves

While on bookshelves, there’s really so much room for invention. A self-sorting bookshelf for instance, would order your books by alphabet or author or colour or genre or whatever your current choice is. One command and poof! it would be done.

And while we’re there, wouldn’t it be wonderful if the bookshelf could find and pull out a book I need and put it back in the exact same spot once I’m done with it? Save me so much trouble!

Intelligent bookshelves that would sort, pull out and replace books on command.

6. Expandable book room

This one’s for the compulsive book hoarder. Marie Kondo might be happy with her thirty books but if she says anything about my collection I might be tempted to thwack her with the same Les Miserables that fell on my pretty face once, and make her a les miserable herself.

An invention to expand a room to house more books.

7. An anti-hoarding robot

Due apologies to Marie Kondo for thinking violent thoughts about her. A more adult me can perhaps see her point. And so I thought up this tough big-momma robot that would pick out books you’d never read and follow you around with the pile repeating ‘Give away book’ till you do just that.

Of course, there’s the danger of that Marie Kondo thwack landing on said robot but a few robots sacrificed here and there really shouldn’t matter.

An anti-book-hoarding robot.

8. Dream creator

This one’s my favourite. This invention will create actors who look exactly like the characters you dreamed of while reading the book. So when you watch the film there’s zero discontent. How’s that for a brainwave?

An invention that creates actors from your imagination.

9. Book virtual reality

How about something that could let you get inside a book and gave you the choice of being a fly on the wall and watching the proceedings (Like Harry Potter in the pensieve) or being an active character and changing the course of the book to explore various possibilities.

An invention that lets you step inside a book.

10. Reading pods

A collapsible, portable reading pod.

This is my absolute favourite idea. Did I say this earlier for another invention? Well, I was wrong then. This truly is the best.

Imagine this: A cosy comfy sofa with your favourite fluffy cushion, maybe a footrest, your favourite beverage and even a blanket to snuggle in, (because why not?) and of course your favourite book. Reader-heaven, right? Now imagine you could carry this piece of heaven everywhere you go?

As an exhausted mom of twins who has spent innumerable hours on uncomfortable football field benches, outside Bharatnatyam and karate classes, this is definitely a dream. Oh and it would be an absolute bonus if it could become invisible once you stepped inside so no one can disturb you. Sigh!

A portable reading pod to let you read in comfort anywhere and everywhere.

So which one’s your favourite? Go ahead, you can pick more than one.

PS: The names are still WIP. Suggestions welcome.
PPS: A reminder that the patents all lie with me.

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This post is part of the Bookish League blog hop hosted by Bohemian Bibliophile.